When I was 16, I had a fake I.D. and decided to go to a gay bar by myself because some friends bailed on me. While there, an older gentleman bought me a drink. He wasn’t a creeper, and he definitely wasn’t unattractive. I accepted the drink and began talking to him. No big deal. As the hour progressed, I felt myself feeling strange. I mentioned that I felt like I had a headache, and this guy helped guide me out of the bar. As we were walking down the street, the thought of, ‘Oh god, he’s drugged me, I’m going to die’ came to my head. I tried to get away, but I was so drugged up that I could barely walk, let alone speak. It also didn’t help that I had really large ‘goth’ platform shoes because I was going through a phase. Anyway, this guy brought me to his suv and began undressing me. As a final act of defiance, I hit him over the head with my platform shoe. He then punched me, and I remember thinking, ‘Why don’t they ever give workshops to gay guys about being victims of rape too?’ While I was as careful as possible, I never saw the guy slip something in the drink. I even watched the bar tender make the drink. Anyway, I lied there completely paralyzed while this pervert was lubing up. I locked eyes with his for a moment, and that’s when it happened. A very large and angry drag queen opened the door of the vehicle and beat the shit out of my attempted rapist. She and her other drag friends helped dress and care for me while the police arrived. I was saved by a group of guardian drag queens. They were basically the modern day ‘angels from heaven.’
a fairytale were a young girl is kidnapped and forced to marry a demon king and instead of being like no! never! shes like fine as long as i get to help you destroy and hes like lol cool but soon shes doing a bit too much and her husband king is like okay enough power and shes like bye see you in the dungeon and hes like what and hes dragged away cause now everyone is more loyal to her and she reigns over the underworld and the surface world with a cold iron fist
Bill Gates’ “stacked ranking” system at Microsoft, which hugely influenced 39 states to change their teacher evaluation systems (leading to “The Instrument” currently used in North Carolina) has been declared a failure for Microsoft, driving out talented employees and forcing them to compete…
story idea: cool trans girl witch is best friends with a buff dmab nonbinary witch and a frail trans boy witch, they all love combating the misconception of “witch = cis lady” that some LOSERS still hold, they do a lot of magic in a gross swamp together. they live in a tiny town but someday they want to travel or maybe live alone in the swamp in strange slimy friendship bliss for ever
disclaimer: i want attention. i want sympathy. i want company. i want to impress people and i want people to like me. i don’t really understand why i’m supposed to pretend i don’t want those things, so i won’t.
“If more men spoke up before, during, or after incidents of verbal, physical, or sexual abuse by their peers, they would help to create a climate where the abuse of women—emotional, physical, sexual—would be stigmatized and seen as incompatible with male group norms. That is, a man who engaged in such behavior would lose status among his male peers and forfeit the approval of older males.
Ultimately, this would cause a shift in male culture such that some men’s sexist abuse of women and girls would be regarded—by other men—not only as distasteful but as utterly unacceptable. In this new climate, individuals would be strongly discouraged from acting out in abusive ways because of the anticipated negative consequences: loss of respect, friends, and status, and greater likelihood of facing both legal and non-legal sanctions.
In fact, if men’s violence against women truly carried a significant stigma in male culture, it is possible that most incidents of sexist abuse would never happen. This is because contrary to popular myth, the vast majority of boys and men who assault, harass, and bully girls and women are not sociopaths. They are average guys. Many of them see the sexist treatment of women as normal.”—Jackson Katz, Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women and How All Men Can Help (via wretchedoftheearth)
my gynecologist told me today that she doesn’t reccomend Always brand menstrual products, especially to people with sensitive skin, because they’ve been known to irritate the vulva. She said even if you don’t notice an irritation, it can still affect yr vaginal health/make you more prone to yeast infections etc.
please spread this so we can avoid hecking up our vulvas!
"When I was about 20 years old, I met an old pastor’s wife who told me that when she was young and had her first child, she didn’t believe in striking children, although spanking kids with a switch pulled from a tree was standard punishment at the time. But one day, when her son was four or five, he did something that she felt warranted a spanking–the first in his life. She told him that he would have to go outside himself and find a switch for her to hit him with.
The boy was gone a long time. And when he came back in, he was crying. He said to her, “Mama, I couldn’t find a switch, but here’s a rock that you can throw at me.”
All of a sudden the mother understood how the situation felt from the child’s point of view: that if my mother wants to hurt me, then it makes no difference what she does it with; she might as well do it with a stone.
And the mother took the boy into her lap and they both cried. Then she laid the rock on a shelf in the kitchen to remind herself forever: never violence. And that is something I think everyone should keep in mind. Because if violence begins in the nursery one can raise children into violence.”
CeCe McDonald, a trans woman of color is in the midst of a 41 month prison sentence for defending herself against a violent, racist and transphobic attack in Minnesota which resulted in the death of one of her attackers. Actress Laverne Cox is portraying an incarcerated trans woman in Orange is the New Black. Through a powerful in prison interview, and investigative filmmaking. This film confronts the issue of transphobia and the culture of violence surrounding trans women of color.
So, yeah. I know you’re tired of hearing about rape culture. But I’m tired of my friends getting raped.
I know you’re tired of hearing about abortion. I am too. So stop trying to tell me what to do with my uterus, and I promise you won’t hear another word from me about it.
I know men and women are different from each other. I’m just tired of that fact being used to excuse the inexcusable.
I know you’re tired of hearing about income inequality. But fuck you, pay us.
This is how it works. We get mad, we fight, we get tired, we get mad, we start again. Rinse, repeat. Feminism isn’t without its flaws, and it doesn’t seem able to speak with one voice or crystallize answers on the darker, stickier aspects of human nature and sexuality. But if I may get Rumsfeldian for a minute, this is the army we have. The fight comes to us whether we seek it or not, whether we want it or not, and whether we are ready or not.
Thin Privilige is not being insulted by the love of your life every time he sees you because of how you look and your weight, and being told that you need to cut down on the amount of food you eat because he’s embarresed to be with you in public. It’s being told day in day out that he loves you, whilst refusing to marry you or starting a family with you, in case his children inherit “The Fat Gene”.
I normally don’t reblog the really sad, upsetting ones, and Tumblr is all over telling this lady to dtmfa, which is great, but.
Most of their reasoning for telling her to leave him revolves around the idea that she doesn’t deserve to be treated like that. Which is true! Seriously! You’re great! He sucks! BUT
If you knew you deserved to be treated well, you wouldn’t be with someone who talked to you like that to begin with. So here’s a reason to gtfo that doesn’t hinge on any sort of self-respect: Those kids you want? How the hell do you think he’s going to talk to them, if he’s like this with you? Even if they don’t inherit “the fat gene” or maybe if they do. This emotional abuse would not stop with you - and even if it did, would you want your kids learning about relationships from how their daddy talks to their mommy? Noooooo. Abandon ship.
“In 1784, five years before he became president of the United States, George Washington, 52, was nearly toothless. So he hired a dentist to transplant nine teeth into his jaw—having extracted them from the mouths of his slaves.”—The sorry legacy of the founders
Anxious people should not be allowed to be friends with each other.
All my friends are anxious introverts who require a lot of spoons to engage socially and I am an anxious extrovert and so people I love don’t reply to my facebook messages and GUYS THEY HATE ME SO MUCH. THEY ARE PROBABLY ALL HANGING OUT TALKING ABOUT HOW MUCH I SUCK RIGHT NOW. (spoiler alert: they are totally not.)
I was 13 years old when Marc Lépine opened fire and murdered 14 women for being at engineering school when he wasn’t. He blamed feminism for the situation he was in, and murdered these women for being in non-traditional jobs, for being there.
Every year, the memorials I go to are different. Some are quiet - I remember several winters in the snow, holding candles and reciting names like a talisman against violence.
Geneviève Bergeron, 21 years old. Hélène Colgan, 24 years old. Nathalie Croteau, 24 years old.
When I was younger, they seemed impossibly mature and sophisticated. I used to imagine them laughing and enjoying university, cut down without warning. Now that I’m 35, they seem so young, and I wonder if they were afraid.
I am going to do a break down of the various terminology as it is accepted in most Romani academic circles.
I realize that this can be very confusing, especially to those outside our ethnicity and culture, and even to those who were raised in our culture, but do not have a full grasp of our language.
I must also note that self-identification varies amongst us and many of our own people may not recognize what is considered proper terminology.
“G*psy” - The pejorative term created by the British in the 1500s. The term was created to identify only those who are Romani, most specifically those who we now call UK Romany & the Romanichal. It was never intended to be used as a descriptor for any other ethnic population. It comes from the Old English term for Egyptian, and not Greek. It is a slur.
Romani - The term that refers to our entire ethnic population, including the Sinti. It refers to the ethnic population that left Northern India & Pakistan shortly after the invasion of the Persian Muslims who have since settled in Trukey, all of Europe, and the Americas. The term is used to refer to our culture & language in relation to the entire ethnic population: Romani culture, Romani language, Romani people, Romani ethnicity.
Romany - The population of Romani who settled in the British Isles sometime in the late 14th century. They have since become two distinct populations self identifying as either Romany or Romanichal. This spelling is typically used to refer only to the ”native” Romani population of the region. It does not inculde more recent Romani immigrants or refugees from continental Europe. Romany is typically prefixed by British, UK, English, or another identifier of where in the region they have settled & lived. Ex: Some Romani families have lived in the UK for one hundred years or more and they have even picked up some words from the Rromanes dialect spoken by the UK Romany.
Sinti - The self-identifier of a sub-ethnic population of the Romani people who live in Germany, Austria, regions of Central Europe, and the United States of America. Many Sinti prefer their identifier over Romani, though they do indeed belong to the Romani ethnic population & their language is a dialect of the Romani language.
Rroma - A sub-ethnic group of the Romani population who live throughout Transylvania, Central Europe and Northern Italy. (This is why referring to our entire ethnic population as the Rroma & Sinti tends to be problematic. It is inclusive of only these two very specific Romani sub ethnic populations, when in fact, we have likely over 80 self-identified distinct groups that are considered part of the Romani ethnicity.)
Rroma - A Romani woman. The adjective that describes a Romani woman or girl. Ex: I am a Rroma woman, but I belong to the Romani people.
Rromni - A Romani woman who is married. A wife. Ex: The Rromni took care of her sick husband.
Rrom - A Romani man. The adjective that describes a Romani man or boy. Ex: The old Rrom told us stories about our history.
Rromanes - The language of the Romani people. Sometimes referred to as “Romani chib”, which means “Romani tongue”. This includes all dialects of the Romani language spoken in all of Europe, Turkey, South Africa, as well as North, Central & South America.
Dom - A sister population of the Romani ethnicity. They are believed to be descendants of similar North Indian & Pakistani ethnic groups. They likely began their diaspora before the people who are today considered the Romani. The Dom live throughout Northern Africa, the Middle East & Central Asia.
Domari - The language of the Dom people.
Lom - Speculatively related to the Romani in the same way as the Domari: a population of mixed Northern Indian ethnic groups who began their diaspora before the population that is considered the Romani. They settled mostly in the Caucasus Mountains, and largely in Armenia.
Lomavren - The language of the Lom people.
The Romani, Dom & Lom are related to some degree, but the exact relation is still contested by some. The Dom & Lom are sometimes lumped under the pejorative exonym, “g*psy”, though this term was never ascribed to them until rather recently. When referring to this entire diasporic population from the Indian subcontinent, they should always be termed “The Romani, Dom & Lom”. Of course, order can vary, but the proper terms should be utilized instead of “g*psy”.
Single “R” & double “Rr” spellings - Both manner of spellings are correct. Some dialects use a double “Rr” spelling for phonetics purposes, while other use it to distinguish us from Romanians & inhabitants of Rome, Italy.
Non-Romani Ethnic Populations:
There are several ethnic populations that are wrongly lumped under the slur umbrella that is “g*psy”. Many have no relationship to us & should only be discussed in terms of contact. We are entirely separate ethnic populations. (For those who still have not grasped this concept yet.)
Pavee - Commonly known as Irish Travellers, they are a sub-ethnic group of Irish who have lived a nomadic existence for several centuries. They reside in Ireland, and the United Kingdom. Some self identify as “Irish G*psies”, though the bastardization of that term from the UK Romany is a rather contentious topic. Some Pavee have had very close relations with UK Romany, even inter-marrying. However, it is important to note that the Romany & Romani are in no way related to Irish Travellers. We are not only two separate ethnic populations, but we even belong to two separate races. We each have our own lanaguage & culture.
Shelta - The language of the Pavee.
Banjara - An ethnic population living in Northern India. Though we have been genetically linked to the Banjara, the group is not the only Indian ethnicity that comprised of the initial Romani diasporic population. In fact, we have been linked to a wide variety of ethnic populations that live throughout Northern India, Pakistan, and even Eastern Afghanistan. The Banjara are just one of those many ethnicities. The Banjara are not “g*psies” & they are not Romani. They are Banjara. They are Indian.
There are many nomadic peoples throughout Europe. The only ones who are Romani are the Romani. The only ones who are “g*psy” are the Romani, most specifically, the Romany.
The Yeniche, Quinqui, Scottish Travellers, Norwegian Travellers, any generic nomadic people, nomads of India, Asia, or any other place on Earth are not Romani & they are not “g*psies”. Not even the Lom & Dom are “g*psies”, or Romani, even though they are our sister ethnic populations.
The only people who are Romani are the Romani.
Needed this today, so reblogged for everyone else too
get it right, and maybe avoid being a racist at someone!
Mod Note: we edited the term “g*psy” with an asterisk since we are not Romani and it is not our word to reclaim.
being friends with hot people has its perks because all the shit people do to impress them, you get the indirect benefits of. case in point: my hot friend got a guy i like to walk me to the metro the other night and another hot guy to actually take a cab home with me tonight bc he lives near me, and he ended up paying for more than his share even though we were gonna split it.
this shit is real. having hot friends makes life so much easier. I rode the hot friend gravy train all the way through high school
Me:fuck people that don't like bright lipstick or think wearing leggings as pants is a terrible idea for somebody with thighs the size of mine.
Me:do you know what my thighs can do? crush you.
Me:it's not like i've tried
Me:BUT THEY COULD
Nina:people with opinions about your thighs aren't worthy to be near them.
Me:i am so, so, so done with thigh hate. my thighs are strong because i walk everywhere and they let my body do badass, awesome things like sprint for the bus and climb up the stairs to my lab and balance my hips when i dance to music in the morning.
Me:they have stretch marks because i am covered in SKIN
Me:and they are my fucking goddamn stripes that i EARNED
Me:so seriously, fuck everybody that thinks i shouldn't be proud of them.
Nina:I have a ton of stretch marks on my hips from having, recovering from, dabbling in, and recovering again from an eating disorder.
“I am tired, not of arguing in favour of equality, diversity and tolerance, but of having to explain, over and over and over again, why such arguments are still necessary, only to have my evidence casually dismissed by someone too oblivious to realise that their dismissal of the problem is itself a textbook example of the fucking problem. I am tired of being mocked by hypocrites who think that a single lazy counterexample is sufficient to debunk the fifteen detailed examples they demanded I produce before they’d even accept my point as a hypothetical, let alone valid, argument. I am tired of assholes who think that playing Devil’s Advocate about an issue alien to their experience but of deep personal significance to their interlocutor makes them both intellectually superior and more rationally objective on the specious basis that being dispassionate is the same as being right (because if they can stay calm while savagely kicking your open wound, then clearly, you have no excuse for screaming).”—
“Men’s rights activists don’t organize marches; they don’t build shelters or raise funds for abused men; they don’t organize prostate cancer-awareness events or campaign against prison rape. What they actually do, when they’re not simply carping in comments online, is target and harass women—from feminist writers and professors to activists—in an attempt to silence them.”—
I want to add to this that MRAs really aren’t there to help men.
I’m a Big Sister for Big Brothers Big Sisters and we run campaigns nationally every year that specifically target men to sign up to be Bigs. EVERY YEAR. Because the average wait for a girl to be matched to a female Big is 6 weeks after being enrolled. The average time for a boy to be matched with a male Big is 6 months to a year because so few men actually sign up to be mentors and many of them don’t actually complete the one year commitment to their Littles, either.
And this is a deficit that is particularly prevalent at my agency.
Mentoring a kid through a program like BBBS is one of the most rewarding things I have ever done in my life. It has also been the most challenging thing I have ever done in my life. As a Big, I have a direct impact on someone else’s life and little boys, in particular, who do not have a father figure at home benefit very strongly from having a male mentor in their life. They typically do better in school, have a better social life, and are more likely to accomplish long-term goals and take responsibility for their actions and mistakes and learn from them.
If MRAs were ACTUALLY interested in helping men and boys, they would be mentors. But instead they sit on the internet in their Fedoras and bemoan the fact that women aren’t being forced by the government to sleep with them.
(We can argue about whether having MRAs be mentors to impressionable young men is a good idea in a separate post because obviously there are better role models for young men and boys but the point still stands that there are very clear things that MRAs could do to tangibly and immediately help men and boys but instead they focus all of their time and energy denigrating rape victims, berating feminists, and whining about services that specifically serve women.)
So, instead of just hand wringing about how males are targeted and denigrated within all aspects of life, I decided one way of trying to help would be to join the Big Brother Big Sister program. The first meeting I went to explained that there are twice as many boys looking for a match than there are girls. They said it was partly because more females than males volunteer. They didn’t mention how most boys have a mother in there life but no father because of the misandric divorce courts but I digress…
Anyways, as part of the process, I had a one on one interview with a female member of the organisation to assess if I was suitable to be a Big, and if so, they wanted to know about me so they could match me with a little. I mentioned that I carry a firearm everywhere I legally can, I also wanted to know what protections were in place to protect me from unfounded accusations, and I expressed how I couldn’t be with a Little if his father had been forcibly removed from his life because of the vindictive actions of the mother. I think the final one sealed my fate however. I’m not particularly upset at being rejected because after looking into it more, the activities deemed appropriate to do with your Little seem somewhat feminine, but it just further hammers home that even when you try to help because there are boys out there screaming for some positive male role models in there lives, you’re only allowed to show them masculine things that females deem are appropriate. It just makes me sick.
Yeah, because it has nothing to do with the fact that you said you would carry a gun around the kid, or suggested you might be accused of assaulting him and that the organization would need to stand up for you, or that you don’t want to help any children whose mother is divorced. It’s just so amazing how they don’t understand how screwed up they sound to everybody else. This is perfectly reasonable to the guy and the other forum members. -_- Also, he doesn’t sound like he cares about helping boys at all. It’s all about him, his hatred of divorced mothers, his need to carry a gun, his paranoia of “unfounded accusations”, and that the organization should stand up for his ‘rights’ over those of the child. He doesn’t come off as somebody who really cares about the kid he’d be helping, just somebody who wanted to do something to make himself feel good.
It is sad though that we don’t have more men volunteering and trying to help in these programs. :( (Though, not the MRAs, they would be so toxic for the kids.)
so when i was 7 or 8 i’d “write letters to hermione granger” and set them out on the piano in the living room every night with my stuffed toy owl and every morning i’d have a letter from hermione back, sitting at the foot of my bed, and hermione and i corresponded like that for months and i’d just like to thank my mom for writing out a “letter from hermione” for me every single night
My housemate just posted this super problematic fucked up article on fb and said that while fat shaming is uncool, fat people are just less beautiful/attractive than their skinny counterparts. I can’t seem to get her to understand that that idea is fat-shaming. UGHHHHH.
Reblogging with the commentary I originally sent as replies: I don’t know how we,as a society, can simultaneously believe that A. everyone is getting fat now and B. fat people are inherently unattractive and unlovable across the board.
How do you insist that an entire demographic is “unattractive” - not just to you, but GENERALLY, which would imply no one is attracted to them - when you can see those people dating, fucking, falling in love, and getting married just like everybody else?