strange little girl, where are you going?

My almost-blog.

10 notes

Jesus Christ, how does every scandal where someone gets caught beating the shit out of their kid end up getting derailed into an argument about spanking?

I’m against spanking for the record, but that’s not the fucking issue. If you beat up your kid bad enough for the police to get involved at all, let alone in spite of you being an NFL star, that was not a damn spanking.

I work in a day care. That means I am a mandated reporter. That means that if Adrian Peterson’s four-year-old were a VPK student of mine, and he came in with the welts on his back, buttocks and thighs that the doctor described Peterson leaving on him, I would be legally required to call the child abuse hotline. It’s pretty straightforward; if your ‘discipline’ would legally obligate a care professional to call the authorities if they learned of it, then you’ve gone way past the realm of ‘discipline.’

And if your first instinct when hearing about any and all violence against a child is to jump to defend corporal punishment above all else, you did not turn out OK and I would venture to say your parents should have hit you less.

Filed under tw abuse parenting adrian peterson child abuse corporal punishment

777 notes


Tumblr, I need your help.

There’s a trans boy who has the opportunity to go through puberty the right way. His name is Peter (last name retracted for legal reasons) and he’s just a kid who needs your help.

Here’s a quote from his mom:

All of Peter’s friends, their parents, and his teachers have been completely supportive. They immediately started using his chosen name, and have adjusted to the male pronouns.

My son Peter loves animals, the outdoors, drawing, and playing his violin. He loves his momma and sisters and does his best to follow our family motto: be kind, be honest, be positive.

The exception to this supportive environment has been his father and stepmother. In the last seven years (since our divorce) they have only been minimally involved in Peter’s life. They have chosen to play no part in important decisions, even in emergency situations. Until now. After learning of Peter’s gender identity status they have begun to insert themselves in Peter’s life. They refuse to acknowledge his doctor’s diagnosis of gender dysphoria. They continue to force him to dress as a girl and answer to his female birth name.

I love my children with all of my heart. It is excruciating to watch my happy, confident son leave for visitation with his father and come home sad and withdrawn. Peter has already been hospitilized once for anxiety and depression. I am afraid the situation will only get worse as Peter ages. Especially if going through puberty as the wrong gender becomes a reality.

It is imperative that I get sole custody.  I need to be able to make medical decisions in Peter’s best interest and help him legally change his name.  I want to help Peter grow from a wonderful little boy to a wonderful young man.

Tumblr, we can help.

Go to this link.

I can speak from first-hand experience that knowing you are trans, and knowing your family won’t accept you, can be traumatic. This kid has balls I didn’t have at his age and I was born with them. Knowing how fast we can spread things, how little donations from a lot of people will help - please spread this. Spread it like wildfire.

If you’re still not convinced, I’ve talked with his mom one on one. Here’s what she had to say about her son:

i have been in touch with many advocacy group~~none of them can get involved in family law cases.

peter has a wonderful counselor who he loves. we see the counselor once a week. he feels so much more empowered now and that is great!

peter is a wonderful wonderful kid. always has been. so much happier now. he does not want to return to his old school. there are not a lot of choices in public schools where we live. there is a french immersion school. he has taught himself french on the computer through the duo lingo site. he is extremely intelligent and attends gifted classes at his current school.

This kid TAUGHT HIMSELF ANOTHER LANGUAGE to try and dig himself out of his current situation. If that isn’t the definition of “I need help, this situation isn’t ok,” I don’t know what is.

Let’s help him.

(via youneedacat)

27,135 notes



sometimes tumblr’s US-centric social justice makes me so fucking frustrated. Right now sweden’s third biggest party are literally neo-nazis and our elections couldn’t even get onto trending tags today, goddamit.

Okay, so the post is gaining notes and people are confused, so to explain what the hell is going on: 


Swedish elections held were on last Sunday, 14th September. We’ve had a right-leaning government the past eight years and after this there will be a change of power. The new party, Socialdemocrats (S) gained a total of 31% percent. The old party, Moderaterna (M) gained 21%. 

Sverigedemokraterna (SD) gained a total of 12.9%. Their policy is racist, Islamophobic, anti-immigration, anti-refugee, anti-diversity, anti-LGBT+, and anti-feminist. Basically, they tick every box on the douchebag lottery.

If you’re here to argue that they’re ~not actually~ Nazis: 1) Fuck you. 2) Fuck the horse the you rode in on. 3) I hope you get stepped on by a moose, you ignorant asswipe. 

  1.  they literally started as neo nazis. They have used a Neo-Nazi movement as campaign slogans,
  2. party members have assaulted immigrants with iron pipes (tw for racialised violence),
  3. worn Nazi symbols 
  4. supported and helped build Neo-Nazi group SvP.

There’s probably more, but I don’t have links on hand. 

They’ve been having rallies and demonstrations all over Sweden, and people have shown up just to turn their back on them and protest (this post explains it better). 

In the 2010 elections, SD were pretty much considered no better than neo-Nazis and only got 5.7% votes - it put them in 6th place and was just enough to get them into parliament. In the elections before that, they got about 2.9%. In the past four years, they’ve grown exponentially in Sweden.

They’ve also run extremely extensive PR campaigns, appealing to the youth, kicking out members “exposed” of being racist, (note: these members often end up in SvP) and picking up buzzwords from the Socialdemocrats’ ideology. 

29% of votes they gained this year were from swing voters who previously voted M,  and the biggest gain have been in the south, in small towns and the countryside:


This is not something that’s just going on in Sweden. Europe has seen an influx of extreme-right parties over the last decade or so, often thinly disguised as a party that puts ‘traditional values’ and ‘national interest’ first.

In Greece and Hungary they’ve already been in power. In Germany, Netherlands, Italy, Greece, Finland France and UK, extreme-right-wing parties have been voted into the EU. 

Because here’s the thing: we’ve forgotten what it looks like. We’ve gotten to the point where we’ve turned Nazism into a cartoonish lampoon of goose-stepping, uniforms and moral lessons that “we’ll never be like them~”, ignoring the fact nationalism is not as cut-and-dry two ends of an extreme but exists on a scale.

People have been apologising for SD’s actions for a while now because they’re not considered “extremist enough” to be neo-Nazis, because they don’t share the same beliefs, because they’ve “publicly denounced” SvP. 

But the same people still get hurt. Still SD has the institutional and systematic power and privilege to oppress, degrade and humiliate people of colour, which they already have done. Stop making excuses for them. Stop making leeways for right-wing-extremists because that is how they gain tract. 

Please spread this. 

(via youneedacat)

8 notes


Dr. Phil is going to be interviewing Kelli Stapleton, the mother who tried to murder her Autistic daughter Issy. Please contact your local media representatives, and particularly tweet at Drew Carey and the other celebrities who were all about justice for Autistic teenagers last week, to remind them that Issy is the victim here and trying to murder your child is not ‘understandable.’ 

I am throwing a LOT of side eye at people and media entities who are full of righteous outrage about the “ice bucket prank” but silent or sympathetic to Kelli Stapleton trying to kill her daughter. Yes, dumping a bucket of urine and feces on someone evokes more of a sense of intentional cruelty to a lot of people. Yes, Kelli Stapleton claims that her hope was for herself and her daughter to be together in heaven and be better off. But as we are fond of saying in internet social justice land, intent is not fucking magic and the fact is I think most of us would rather survive a bucket of piss than a parent trying to murder us.

Issy Stapleton didn’t deserve an attempt on her life from the person she was supposed to be able to trust — to have to go the rest of her life knowing that her mother tried to kill her — any more than the boy in Bay Village, Ohio deserved to have a bucket of urine poured on him when he thought he was doing the ice bucket challenge.

This is not about lack of services; parents who try to murder their disabled children do not have lack of services in common, and parents without access to services don’t try to kill their kids at any really disproportionate rate. This is about a culture that devalues disabled people in general and Autistic people specifically, and does this so successfully that parents buy into it.

Filed under autism tw murder ableism justiceforissy issy stapleton kelli stapleton dr. phil drew carey

304 notes

Ice Bucket Challenge for ASAN





Video transcript:

I’m not going to use the word ‘bullying’ or ‘prank,’ here, because I think it is trivializing to say something like ‘prank’ when we’re talking about genuine cruelty. I think this was an assault meant to degrade and humiliate a person. And I’m not going to link to the video that went viral, because I know the boy tried to hide the video from his mother after his attackers put it on Instagram, because he was embarrassed. And although I don’t believe victims of violence have anything to be ashamed of, I still think he deserved to have a say in whether more people saw that video. And so I think it’s sort of adding insult to injury that instead of being taken down, it went viral, and now everyone is tweeting and sharing this video that was very humiliating and that the victim didn’t want out there. So I didn’t watch it, and I’m not going to share the video or link to any article that does.

The mother put the video on YouTube to rise awareness on bullying. I think what they did is sick and I hope they get caught or go to jail or something. I don’t understand how someone can do something like that!

I know that. And while I really hope — and for the sake of giving people the benefit of the doubt in bad situations, I’m assuming — that she asked her son’s permission before putting it on YouTube, I can’t imagine even if he did assent that he ever could have guessed it would go viral and be seen by millions of people and all these celebrities and such. Assuming he did consent to his mom putting the video up, I wonder if knowing how widespread it would go would have changed his answer. In any case, because I CAN’T know those things, I am erring on the safe side and not taking the risk of further spreading a video that the victim may not want us to see.

From what i’ve read, he told her not to post it online and she did it anyways.

Oh Jesus. Where did you read that?

As I said, even if he had given her permission, I honestly don’t think it would be all sensible or ethical for a celebrity twitter or Buzzfeed to assume that consent for his mother’s facebook friends to see something meant consent for the whole internet to see it. But if his mom violated his consent, that’s even more upsetting. Like, we’re getting the perspectives of his family, and no one has spoken to him or gotten a statement from him. And maybe he doesn’t want to talk. Maybe he doesn’t want to give a statement. Maybe he doesn’t communicate in a way that the press would interpret respectfully and he realizes that. I don’t know this young man’s life. But right now I keep hearing that his name is being withheld and no one is asking for his point of view because we want to protect his privacy. But where was that concern for his privacy when the video went viral, a video he made it clear he was ashamed of? This is not a matter of Autistic people being “hard to communicate with” — he obviously communicated clearly enough that he did not want the video seen. His mom was not confused about it.

Filed under autism ableism ableism tw abuse tw

2 notes

Changing Conversations: When Parents Murder Disabled Children

Horrible, upsetting, and relevant to my video about how we talk about Autistic children and how the rhetoric of wiping out Autism puts those kids in danger.

Filed under murder tw suicide tw ableism tw abuse tw autism

5 notes

justlikeabaroness asked: I wanted to compliment you on your Ice Bucket/Autism Speaks post. Aside from the nitty-gritty fact that most autistic people prefer "autistic person" to "person with autism", I think you did an awesome job describing what our community faces (I'm an autistic adult) and why A$ hurts, rather than helps. Your sister's lucky to have you.

Thank you!

This was actually a point that I wanted to mention but decided to wait until someone pointed it out. I know the preferred language of ASAN and most Autistic self-advocates is identity-first. I also know that some prefer person-first. There was a great post a while back about the reasons and arguments for each, the people who tend to prefer one over the other, and why both are valid for self-identifying.

Because I don’t really have a horse in that race, I used them interchangeably. Mostly I did that because it’s a seven-minute video and as a writer I know that it’s really hard to hold someone’s attention over a long period if you keep using one phrase over and over again. I already had a bunch of repeating phrases in that video that couldn’t be helped — like Autism Speaks and Bay Village, Ohio — so I wanted to cut back on repetition otherwise. I also thought that using both might be less alienating to people with opposing preferences than sticking to one.

So ultimately it was a stylistic choice to use both, which may have been wrong, but it was a decision I came to after considering it and after having read a lot of different disability advocates’ perspectives on identity-first vs. person-first language. But had I chosen to stick to one, I would have used identity-first because the video was for ASAN and that is the language they use, and because it is what most of my Autistic friends prefer. It is what I normally use in my daily life.

Thank you so much for commenting, both for the kindness and the correction. I was hoping I would have an opportunity to explain that and get more feedback on it.

36,933 notes





  1. Go to  
  2. Click on 14-28 
  3. Comment “I want internet service providers classified as common carriers.”
  4. Done! 

Please reblog for people who have phone-related phobias or anxieties.

Be sure to hit “confirm” to send your comment.

This is me and I care deeply but cannot do phones! (one reason why internet is SO IMPORTANT!) I know a lot of you can’t either! Do the thing instead!

(via twistmalchik)